It has come to my attention that some of you have been receiving mysterious and concerning messages disguised as virtual chocolates. I know this because I received one myself. Do not be alarmed as I am currently investigating the matter thoroughly. I will be requiring transcripts of all messages and unusual activities. Do not under any circumstances activate your digital gift basket if you have not already done so. If you do so after having received fair warning as to the potential life-altering consequences you are an idiot.
I will be accepting informed questions and rejecting stupid questions.
-Dwight K. Schrute
four;
[Whoever happens to be currently sleeping soundly next to Dwight is going to be waking up in an extremely unpleasant fashion as he jumps out of bed and shouts, shining his tablet light into their face.]
Don't panic! I've figured out the mystery of what happened to the citizens of Norfinbury! We may be in imminent danger! Action is required immediately!
Dwight Schrute | The Office (US)
@dwightkschrute | text
Attention Fellow Hostages,
It has come to my attention that some of you have been receiving mysterious and concerning messages disguised as virtual chocolates. I know this because I received one myself. Do not be alarmed as I am currently investigating the matter thoroughly. I will be requiring transcripts of all messages and unusual activities. Do not under any circumstances activate your digital gift basket if you have not already done so. If you do so after having received fair warning as to the potential life-altering consequences you are an idiot.
I will be accepting informed questions and rejecting stupid questions.
-Dwight K. Schrute
four;
[Whoever happens to be currently sleeping soundly next to Dwight is going to be waking up in an extremely unpleasant fashion as he jumps out of bed and shouts, shining his tablet light into their face.]
Don't panic! I've figured out the mystery of what happened to the citizens of Norfinbury! We may be in imminent danger! Action is required immediately!