[Ah! A kindred soul! Another man who had felt that undeniable urge to step out into the ice and the snow for the sole purpose of letting loose a vindicating whiz.

Maybe there really was a malicious spirit who sought to punish those who carelessly brandished their genitals with little regard for the scenery.]

Absolutely. This place doesn't have much consideration for a man's urges. They clearly don't understand.

Did you at least get to write your name?