[ The voice that graces the network today is new, distinctly flippant, and a little annoying. ]

Many of you seem strangely surprised that terrible things are happening. "Oh, I've been trapped in a dark and desolate wasteland? Surely it will be all cuddling kittens and baking cookies." It's right there in the name. Norfinbury. [ A snicker, then a pause. ] No? Tough crowd.

Though I'm finding it difficult to quake in my boots when our enemies can be defeated by a door. I have a feeling I haven't heard the whole story yet. If anyone's feeling talkative, I'll listen. I do ask that you embellish the boring parts, though — and do the voices. I've been spoiled for stories.