If you'd like to apply to Snowblind and would like to test the waters first or get a sample set up for your application, this meme is for you! We've even provided some prompts for you to use if you want (but feel free to make up your own). Here's how it works.
✭ Reply to this entry with a character you're considering apping into the game. You can include the name of your character and the fandom in your subject line. ✭ Comment around to others on the meme, whether you're in the game already or not. ✭ Now you have a sample ready for your application! ✭ So go reserve and apply when reservations and applications are open. ✭ Seriously, do it.
Network Prompts
ONE: IT WON'T BE LONG NOW... Well, you made a mistake. You spent too long searching around, or you ran outside near the end of the day for just one more thing, and now you've been locked out. You can search around all you want, but the best shelter you can hope for is pressing against the side of a sealed up building. You do still have your tablet, though. Maybe someone on the network can give you some advice, or at least some comfort while you wait for hypothermia to set in.
TWO: CABIN FEVER Maybe you didn't want that mistake of getting caught outside to happen again, but now you've ended up staying too long in one location, and cabin fever has set in. Maybe you're taking to the network to try and ignore the hallucinations. Maybe you want to tell everyone that you've figured out they're all in on your kidnapping. Maybe you ended up wandering off and now you'd really like to know if anyone can check back in the place you were at for your pants.
Action Prompts
THREE: AN UNEXPECTED MEETING You're going about your business searching what seems like it might be an especially promising house--it's fully intact and there's even a working fireplace with some wood! It looks like someone else has the same idea, though, and you've run into them in the middle of your search. Do you share the potential wealth or try to kick them out? On the other hand, maybe you know who this is, or maybe you're just glad to actually see another person for the first time in ages.
FOUR: GOOD MORGUE-NING You've just woken up in a morgue after dying in one unfortunate way or another. You have no idea where you are beyond that, but your tablet is insisting you can't stay here, so you should probably get out of here pretty quickly. Of course, bringing people back from the dead isn't a perfect science, so you're missing something important to you. Maybe you've lost your voice, maybe you can't remember where you're from, maybe you can't remember where you are right now. It looks like someone else is nearby, though. Maybe they can help you out?
[That sounds exactly like something a bully would say! The tendency to be complicated did not even factor into this equation!.]
With more attention being draw to the fallacies behind this story, it only serves to prove that the writer is hopeless and probably lived at home with their mother long past when was appropriate for his or her age! Stand in the corner and think about what you've done.[The writer was never going to get a break again, as far as Gintoki was concerned.]
Even when faced with such things, you'd rather be a demon! Oi. Too scary. If someone finds sugar around here, please give it to this man. Well some of it. I am willing to share. Most of it should be brought to me though. Even Hell has to have some form of sugar. I refused to believe anywhere has a brazen lack of sugar.
And if you find random berries and don't want to eat them, this man is offering to test them. He is clearly trained. He doesn't even fear demons! So if you're a coward, send them his way. You, give them your coordinates to make the process easier.
[Though the other man was fumbling with the denial of just who Gintoki was, the same could not be said for the samurai. The white-haired man was far too distracted with his ramblings to truly focus on the all-too-familiar speech pattern being displayed on his screen.]
[The tendency to do illegal things and then whine belligerently about well deserved punishment completely negated any claims of 'bullying'.]
Even if the writer has moved out from their parents' house, they're still a smudge on society. If they want to redeem themselves, they can start filing documentation of all of their findings. So we can know that whatever they're saying is true, since they like to write idiotic lies on the network.
Being a demon means being feared and respected. Being a diabetic means dying weak and early. Fear doesn't factor into something so obvious. I don't want your sugar, don't share with me. If you think that a snow covered wasteland has sugar, there's something wrong with you.
I'm not going to take orders from you! Berries are usually sweet, so you eat them! This guy volunteers and is about to send his coordinates, so everyone look for them in his next response. He'll eat anything weird and dangerous, so long as it's brightly colored and sweet.
[Each letter Hijikata typed was input with more force than the last as his annoyance with the faceless yet entirely too familiar man on the network continued. There were just too many similarities in speech patterns and priorities. This guy either was odd-jobs, or an individual who would give the lazy samurai a run for his money as main character. Either way, Hijikata's sense of reason was quickly succumbing to the boiling frustration of talking to this idiot.]
[Oi! A bully! A bully. This guy was obviously a bully!]
Even if they filed documentation, they might lie to you. They might document that a ghost pissed in their cornflakes just so they could rile up the servers. Yes. It's best to not entrusted them with anything. Writer, go and die. Then think about what you've done from the afterlife!
[This guy sounded like he hadn't left his middle-school ways! Who wanted to be a demon? Sure, everyone is scared of you - but demons didn't get breaks. Who ever heard of a relaxing demon? This man's priorities were skewed. At least a diabetic would die happy! Frustration was buzzing into the white-haired man's mind.]
Don't underestimate me! I haven't had sugar in a long time and will grow irritated. You'll be more scared of me than a stupid ghost if you test me. Just for that I won't share what I find. Find your own sugar!
I won't eat the berries. That is a job that was cut out for you. You're fully trained and ready to organize the masses of berries in this frozen landscape. It's your job! Your job! Don't slack off now!
[Was this guy even real? Trying to kill off a main-character with something as useless as poison berries? He obviously hadn't been an important character in whatever group he had been in. No, no he probably was just an annoying side-character who liked to get into the main character's hair and acted way cooler than he actually was. Oi. Those types were the worst. They needed to get their own posse, rather than butting into his!]
[A public official! A man paid by the government - so a man who couldn't engage in bullying as much as some dumbass citizens deserved.]
If they want to tell me that they pissed in their cornflakes, they're going to have to invite someone to do the deed or do it themselves. That's too far for someone hiding behind a computer screen to do - their mother is probably yelling for them right now! I'll kill them myself if they find cornflakes and piss in them to make a stupid joke.
I just told you I don't want any sugar! Just what the hell do you think we're going to find out here, anyway? A tree stump with a parfait sitting on it, completely untouched? You're irritating. Too irritating! There's nothing scary about a guy I'm going to punch the next time I see him.
What kind of 'berry training' are you talking about? Have you ever heard of something like that? What kind of man would go through that sort of waste of time? No, the only training you need is an iron stomach and broken taste buds. You're qualified, over qualified, so go right ahead! Eat the first ones you see!
[Whether or not this idiot was odd-jobs, Hijikata had fallen into talking to him like he was. Every old grudge and unresolved annoyance threatened to boil over as he entered text, fingers aching between the cold and the violent pressure he was putting on the screen.
He had a posse, thank you very much - and Hijikata would have vastly preferred to be talking to a gorilla or a super sadist than a useless permed samurai. But they were nowhere to be found, and frankly the man hoped he was the only member of the Shinsengumi lost in a place like this. The others would cause too much danger, for themselves and others.]
Right! That is not even a joke. It can't be a joke if it isn't funny. It's a very naughty prank. Their mother taught them better than that. She is crying at the dinner table. "Why did you become such a despicable kid? I took such care..." blah blah blah. Listen to us kid. Don't try it or you will bring dishonor to your family. Don't make mother cry.
That is the dream. Maybe a benevolent parfait faerie left it out for those with pure of heart? If so, I'll be in luck. The people here can tell I have the heart of a child, and thus wouldn't be so cruel as to separate me from sugar entirely.
Oi! If someone is reading this post, share your sweets with me!
Berry training is a must for those with your occupation. [Whatever it was. He would assume 'police officer' for the time being, giving the other's annoying familiarity.] It's how you keep the public safe! Don't you want to lay down your life for your public! Die the hero you always wanted to be! Yosh! Dream big!
Nevermind your family, if anyone finds food here and pisses on it or otherwise defiles it for the sake of an idiotic joke I'll kill them! It doesn't matter how hungry I may be or how far away we are, I'll find them and slit their throat to put an end do their nonsense.
You should follow your dream, then. Wander around in the woods calling loudly for the 'benevolent parfait faerie' so that anyone can hear you and put you out of your misery.
If anyone with cigarettes to share is reading this, tell me immediately!
What the hell are you talking about? You sound like the protagonist of a bad JUMP manga. Berry training, dying a hero - just focus! We need to find food. We need to know what is edible. If you come upon berries, post pictures and eat one. I'll do it too. Everyone should do it.
You show such dedication to killing a snot-nosed kid! His mother will cry, you know! You'll ruin their family line, you know! All because you got scared. Could you live with yourself when you become such a despicable embodiment of police brutality?
[This guy sounds exactly like a police officer. He was probably a police officer. If he hadn't been before his time in this wasteland - then he has been promoted to one in Gintoki's imagination.]
Oi! If anyone has come across a parfait while reading this, interrupt this guy so you can talk to me instead! My handsome complexion will suffer if I don't get sugar into my system. I will allow you to be the benevolent parfait faerie. What a great title. Very prestigious! Everyone will like you a lot more!
A bad JUMP manga? This protagonist sounds like an appealing, endearing hero who would win lots of popularity polls despite his naturally wavy hair. There is an idea... Someone should take this down! Take notes. It's probably not copyright material in their snow-void. [The berries have been long forgotten.]
[The ability to not be a lazy bum who can't pay his rent. Crucial.]
How could anyone be scared of a bowl of piss!? Are you telling me that scares you? If you're scared of a bowl of pee, you'll never make it. Just kill yourself now.
Doing that to cereal I'm supposed to eat would be considered assault of an officer, so it's not 'police brutality' if I beat them to a pulp! [Thanks for the promotion? Gintoki, meanwhile, has been demoted to angry screaming child. Not that Hijikata was much better, since he was yelling right back.]
If anyone comes across a parfait while reading this, smash it. Dump it in the snow and use it as bait, or something! Under no circumstances are you to give it to this guy here.
[Reading that final paragraph sealed it. Hijikata's tongue flicked in annoyance at a cigarette that wasn't there.] Oi. What's your name? [Okay, so he was still clinging desperately to one final strand of hope.]
[The strength of soul is not measured in if a man makes his rent! Bah, what are you working for the Old Hag now?]
It's not the bowl of piss that scares you! Even if it's unsanitary, the thing that is much scarier is the ghost that made the piss. Don't you see? If they're able to pee in our food, what else are they capable of.
Little Jimmy was merely being a kid! A boy at heart! Only a heartless Demon Vice-Chief without a handle on his temper would destroy that boy's livelihood! [He was a child at heart, so was it really a demotion?]
Ignore anything else this guy says! He's an enemy of the people, this proves it! A man who hates fun and probably dumps mayonnaise on everything you give him, reducing it to dog food! Pee in his cornflakes if you run into him!
[It had to be that agitating guy. It was no mistake - this was Oogushi-kun.]
My name? Oi! Are you trying to out me? This guy is absolutely trying to out me. Give your name first so the strangers on the internet can track you down too.
[What is it measured in then? How much strawberry milk a man can drink!? That'd be stupid.]
Why is a ghost peeing now!? It was a guy in his mom's house, too old to be living there but too useless to move out! That's who was peeing, not a ghost. There is no ghost! We'd decided that idiots who talk about ghosts on the network should be punished. Do you want me to kill you!?
Kids have to learn their lessons. If no one beats them up when they're misbehaving, they'll grow up rotten. If a boy's livelihood is destroyed by one beating, then he wasn't ever going to make it.
Why are you dragging mayonnaise into this? What did mayonnaise ever do to you!? It's good, but I'm not begging for it on the network unlike some other useless idiot. I swear if anyone pees on any food here, regardless of whose it is, they'll die!
[Out him for what? They had screen names, so everyone already knew not to trust 'Ginko'. What bullshit.]
You've already outed yourself as an idiot.
This is Hijikata, since you asked. [He had no problem putting his name out there. None at all. He wasn't embarrassed about any part of this conversation. Even if maybe he should have been.]
[That would be a honorable way to measure it. Let's go with that! That's the new way to measure a man's soul! How much strawberry milk he can retain within his bladder.]
The ghost of little Jimmy could certainly pee! Even spirits have to release their bladders, I'm sure. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Well, if they had ghosts. If there were ghosts. Like I said, there aren't any ghosts here. No one should mention ghosts or cornflakes anymore.
Pee if okay though. That's natural. We can get on the top of that. Though not too much, or I'll have to take a leak. A bad experience recently makes me not want to do that.
[This was it! There was no one else in the universe who would sacrifice their pride for the sanctity of mayonnaise. Never mind that down the message, this guy totally confirmed his suspicions. The suspicions Gintoki had all along, of course. No doubt that this had been that unremarkable cop.]
You outed yourself first, idiot! Who else in the world would argue about mayonnaise over the network. Oh, I am feeling embarrassment for you - sharing such personal thoughts out in public! Oogushi-kun. Control yourself better.
[Gintoki wouldn't know the definition of honor if it slapped him in the face. Hijikata didn't think quite so highly of himself as to adopt the label and put that to the test, but he'd certainly hit odd jobs anyway.]
Don't give him a name! There's no ghost, there's no one dead by the name of Jimmy here! Jimmy is happy at home with his mom. You're saying it yourself, there's no ghosts.
What are you talking about, bad experience?
Actually, no. Don't tell me. I don't want to know what happened. Keep that between yourself and the thing between your legs.
[It didn't require any sacrifice as pride to discuss mayonnaise. Mayonnaise was a worthy topic of conversation. Especially concerning it's absence! Not that he was obsessing over something like that. He wasn't a stupid silver haired bum who whined loudly on the network about parfaits and fairies. How the hell did he ever fool himself into thinking this wasn't odd jobs?
Hijikata shook his head. With his eyes closed. Because the light was giving him a headache, not because he didn't want to see whatever totally wasn't in the room with him.]
You're the one arguing! The fact is it's the king of condiments. Whose embarrassed!? You sound like a whining child, talking about ice cream. You'll die before you find any here, you know.
[Honor had a textbook definition and therefore could be easily identified by anyone with access to a book. Granted that definition was dry and intentionally vague so everyone could tattoo honor to their shoulder blades in edgey font and tell each other about their virtues. Gintoki had to say - redefining it was going to be revolutionary. It was honoring the memory of the word!]
Sometimes traumatic story arcs surround even simple things we take for granted like taking a piss! If you weren't informed, you would probably fall for the same trap. Take care of when you go outside to take a leak, or your little Hiji will freeze off.
[Mayonnaise was never a worthy topic. No one ever willingly wished to talk about mayonnaise, unless they were deranged. Deranged men with dilated pupils and unsparkling eyes who happened to call themselves sheriff, or officer, or whatever the hell.
Gintoki's key strikes slow as he catches a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye. He grinds his teeth. Back to the conversation. Yes, yeah. Ha ha, the really enthralling conversation with this guy.]
Don't shove this on me and me only! The King of Condiments?! I didn't vote for it. The election must have been rigged.[Yeah, a clever quote from M**ty Py***n that Hijikata would inevitably not get. Delightful.]I'll die without ice cream anyway, you know. I can't go a day without sugar.
[When did the word die? Don't go killing off important words and concepts just so they can be reinvented! 'Honor' didn't need any help, it was doing fine on it's own.]
Only an idiot's traumatic story arc would be about something like that! I've never had any character development come out of pissing. [Even if he did, he wouldn't admit it. Have some shame!] Only an idiot would go out in the middle of the night, especially for something stupid. Have you lost control? [Of your bladder?]
If you say 'little Hiji' again I'll cut yours off.
[Vice-chief! And mayonnaise was absolutely worthy - not that a penniless scumbag would understand it's virtues. But fine, he wouldn't talk about it any more. No need to continue a conversation that would only besmirch it's value.]
There was no vote, it's obvious from the taste! [Nope, he didn't get it.] So die already! It's been a lot longer than a day, so either stop whining or keel over!
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snowblindmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
snowblindmemes2015-05-12 07:10 am
no subject
With more attention being draw to the fallacies behind this story, it only serves to prove that the writer is hopeless and probably lived at home with their mother long past when was appropriate for his or her age! Stand in the corner and think about what you've done.[The writer was never going to get a break again, as far as Gintoki was concerned.]
Even when faced with such things, you'd rather be a demon! Oi. Too scary. If someone finds sugar around here, please give it to this man. Well some of it. I am willing to share. Most of it should be brought to me though. Even Hell has to have some form of sugar. I refused to believe anywhere has a brazen lack of sugar.
And if you find random berries and don't want to eat them, this man is offering to test them. He is clearly trained. He doesn't even fear demons! So if you're a coward, send them his way. You, give them your coordinates to make the process easier.
[Though the other man was fumbling with the denial of just who Gintoki was, the same could not be said for the samurai. The white-haired man was far too distracted with his ramblings to truly focus on the all-too-familiar speech pattern being displayed on his screen.]
no subject
Even if the writer has moved out from their parents' house, they're still a smudge on society. If they want to redeem themselves, they can start filing documentation of all of their findings. So we can know that whatever they're saying is true, since they like to write idiotic lies on the network.
Being a demon means being feared and respected. Being a diabetic means dying weak and early. Fear doesn't factor into something so obvious. I don't want your sugar, don't share with me. If you think that a snow covered wasteland has sugar, there's something wrong with you.
I'm not going to take orders from you! Berries are usually sweet, so you eat them! This guy volunteers and is about to send his coordinates, so everyone look for them in his next response. He'll eat anything weird and dangerous, so long as it's brightly colored and sweet.
[Each letter Hijikata typed was input with more force than the last as his annoyance with the faceless yet entirely too familiar man on the network continued. There were just too many similarities in speech patterns and priorities. This guy either was odd-jobs, or an individual who would give the lazy samurai a run for his money as main character. Either way, Hijikata's sense of reason was quickly succumbing to the boiling frustration of talking to this idiot.]
no subject
Even if they filed documentation, they might lie to you. They might document that a ghost pissed in their cornflakes just so they could rile up the servers. Yes. It's best to not entrusted them with anything. Writer, go and die. Then think about what you've done from the afterlife!
[This guy sounded like he hadn't left his middle-school ways! Who wanted to be a demon? Sure, everyone is scared of you - but demons didn't get breaks. Who ever heard of a relaxing demon? This man's priorities were skewed. At least a diabetic would die happy! Frustration was buzzing into the white-haired man's mind.]
Don't underestimate me! I haven't had sugar in a long time and will grow irritated. You'll be more scared of me than a stupid ghost if you test me. Just for that I won't share what I find. Find your own sugar!
I won't eat the berries. That is a job that was cut out for you. You're fully trained and ready to organize the masses of berries in this frozen landscape. It's your job! Your job! Don't slack off now!
[Was this guy even real? Trying to kill off a main-character with something as useless as poison berries? He obviously hadn't been an important character in whatever group he had been in. No, no he probably was just an annoying side-character who liked to get into the main character's hair and acted way cooler than he actually was. Oi. Those types were the worst. They needed to get their own posse, rather than butting into his!]
no subject
If they want to tell me that they pissed in their cornflakes, they're going to have to invite someone to do the deed or do it themselves. That's too far for someone hiding behind a computer screen to do - their mother is probably yelling for them right now! I'll kill them myself if they find cornflakes and piss in them to make a stupid joke.
I just told you I don't want any sugar! Just what the hell do you think we're going to find out here, anyway? A tree stump with a parfait sitting on it, completely untouched? You're irritating. Too irritating! There's nothing scary about a guy I'm going to punch the next time I see him.
What kind of 'berry training' are you talking about? Have you ever heard of something like that? What kind of man would go through that sort of waste of time? No, the only training you need is an iron stomach and broken taste buds. You're qualified, over qualified, so go right ahead! Eat the first ones you see!
[Whether or not this idiot was odd-jobs, Hijikata had fallen into talking to him like he was. Every old grudge and unresolved annoyance threatened to boil over as he entered text, fingers aching between the cold and the violent pressure he was putting on the screen.
He had a posse, thank you very much - and Hijikata would have vastly preferred to be talking to a gorilla or a super sadist than a useless permed samurai. But they were nowhere to be found, and frankly the man hoped he was the only member of the Shinsengumi lost in a place like this. The others would cause too much danger, for themselves and others.]
no subject
Right! That is not even a joke. It can't be a joke if it isn't funny. It's a very naughty prank. Their mother taught them better than that. She is crying at the dinner table. "Why did you become such a despicable kid? I took such care..." blah blah blah. Listen to us kid. Don't try it or you will bring dishonor to your family. Don't make mother cry.
That is the dream. Maybe a benevolent parfait faerie left it out for those with pure of heart? If so, I'll be in luck. The people here can tell I have the heart of a child, and thus wouldn't be so cruel as to separate me from sugar entirely.
Oi! If someone is reading this post, share your sweets with me!
Berry training is a must for those with your occupation. [Whatever it was. He would assume 'police officer' for the time being, giving the other's annoying familiarity.] It's how you keep the public safe! Don't you want to lay down your life for your public! Die the hero you always wanted to be! Yosh! Dream big!
no subject
Nevermind your family, if anyone finds food here and pisses on it or otherwise defiles it for the sake of an idiotic joke I'll kill them! It doesn't matter how hungry I may be or how far away we are, I'll find them and slit their throat to put an end do their nonsense.
You should follow your dream, then. Wander around in the woods calling loudly for the 'benevolent parfait faerie' so that anyone can hear you and put you out of your misery.
If anyone with cigarettes to share is reading this, tell me immediately!
What the hell are you talking about? You sound like the protagonist of a bad JUMP manga. Berry training, dying a hero - just focus! We need to find food. We need to know what is edible. If you come upon berries, post pictures and eat one. I'll do it too. Everyone should do it.
no subject
You show such dedication to killing a snot-nosed kid! His mother will cry, you know! You'll ruin their family line, you know! All because you got scared. Could you live with yourself when you become such a despicable embodiment of police brutality?
[This guy sounds exactly like a police officer. He was probably a police officer. If he hadn't been before his time in this wasteland - then he has been promoted to one in Gintoki's imagination.]
Oi! If anyone has come across a parfait while reading this, interrupt this guy so you can talk to me instead! My handsome complexion will suffer if I don't get sugar into my system. I will allow you to be the benevolent parfait faerie. What a great title. Very prestigious! Everyone will like you a lot more!
A bad JUMP manga? This protagonist sounds like an appealing, endearing hero who would win lots of popularity polls despite his naturally wavy hair. There is an idea... Someone should take this down! Take notes. It's probably not copyright material in their snow-void. [The berries have been long forgotten.]
no subject
How could anyone be scared of a bowl of piss!? Are you telling me that scares you? If you're scared of a bowl of pee, you'll never make it. Just kill yourself now.
Doing that to cereal I'm supposed to eat would be considered assault of an officer, so it's not 'police brutality' if I beat them to a pulp! [Thanks for the promotion? Gintoki, meanwhile, has been demoted to angry screaming child. Not that Hijikata was much better, since he was yelling right back.]
If anyone comes across a parfait while reading this, smash it. Dump it in the snow and use it as bait, or something! Under no circumstances are you to give it to this guy here.
[Reading that final paragraph sealed it. Hijikata's tongue flicked in annoyance at a cigarette that wasn't there.] Oi. What's your name? [Okay, so he was still clinging desperately to one final strand of hope.]
no subject
It's not the bowl of piss that scares you! Even if it's unsanitary, the thing that is much scarier is the ghost that made the piss. Don't you see? If they're able to pee in our food, what else are they capable of.
Little Jimmy was merely being a kid! A boy at heart! Only a heartless Demon Vice-Chief without a handle on his temper would destroy that boy's livelihood! [He was a child at heart, so was it really a demotion?]
Ignore anything else this guy says! He's an enemy of the people, this proves it! A man who hates fun and probably dumps mayonnaise on everything you give him, reducing it to dog food! Pee in his cornflakes if you run into him!
[It had to be that agitating guy. It was no mistake - this was Oogushi-kun.]
My name? Oi! Are you trying to out me? This guy is absolutely trying to out me. Give your name first so the strangers on the internet can track you down too.
no subject
Why is a ghost peeing now!? It was a guy in his mom's house, too old to be living there but too useless to move out! That's who was peeing, not a ghost. There is no ghost! We'd decided that idiots who talk about ghosts on the network should be punished. Do you want me to kill you!?
Kids have to learn their lessons. If no one beats them up when they're misbehaving, they'll grow up rotten. If a boy's livelihood is destroyed by one beating, then he wasn't ever going to make it.
Why are you dragging mayonnaise into this? What did mayonnaise ever do to you!? It's good, but I'm not begging for it on the network unlike some other useless idiot. I swear if anyone pees on any food here, regardless of whose it is, they'll die!
[Out him for what? They had screen names, so everyone already knew not to trust 'Ginko'. What bullshit.]
You've already outed yourself as an idiot.
This is Hijikata, since you asked. [He had no problem putting his name out there. None at all. He wasn't embarrassed about any part of this conversation. Even if maybe he should have been.]
no subject
The ghost of little Jimmy could certainly pee! Even spirits have to release their bladders, I'm sure. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Well, if they had ghosts. If there were ghosts. Like I said, there aren't any ghosts here. No one should mention ghosts or cornflakes anymore.
Pee if okay though. That's natural. We can get on the top of that. Though not too much, or I'll have to take a leak. A bad experience recently makes me not want to do that.
[This was it! There was no one else in the universe who would sacrifice their pride for the sanctity of mayonnaise. Never mind that down the message, this guy totally confirmed his suspicions. The suspicions Gintoki had all along, of course. No doubt that this had been that unremarkable cop.]
You outed yourself first, idiot! Who else in the world would argue about mayonnaise over the network. Oh, I am feeling embarrassment for you - sharing such personal thoughts out in public! Oogushi-kun. Control yourself better.
no subject
Don't give him a name! There's no ghost, there's no one dead by the name of Jimmy here! Jimmy is happy at home with his mom. You're saying it yourself, there's no ghosts.
What are you talking about, bad experience?
Actually, no. Don't tell me. I don't want to know what happened. Keep that between yourself and the thing between your legs.
[It didn't require any sacrifice as pride to discuss mayonnaise. Mayonnaise was a worthy topic of conversation. Especially concerning it's absence! Not that he was obsessing over something like that. He wasn't a stupid silver haired bum who whined loudly on the network about parfaits and fairies. How the hell did he ever fool himself into thinking this wasn't odd jobs?
Hijikata shook his head. With his eyes closed. Because the light was giving him a headache, not because he didn't want to see whatever totally wasn't in the room with him.]
You're the one arguing! The fact is it's the king of condiments. Whose embarrassed!? You sound like a whining child, talking about ice cream. You'll die before you find any here, you know.
no subject
Sometimes traumatic story arcs surround even simple things we take for granted like taking a piss! If you weren't informed, you would probably fall for the same trap. Take care of when you go outside to take a leak, or your little Hiji will freeze off.
[Mayonnaise was never a worthy topic. No one ever willingly wished to talk about mayonnaise, unless they were deranged. Deranged men with dilated pupils and unsparkling eyes who happened to call themselves sheriff, or officer, or whatever the hell.
Gintoki's key strikes slow as he catches a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye. He grinds his teeth. Back to the conversation. Yes, yeah. Ha ha, the really enthralling conversation with this guy.]
Don't shove this on me and me only! The King of Condiments?! I didn't vote for it. The election must have been rigged.[Yeah, a clever quote from M**ty Py***n that Hijikata would inevitably not get. Delightful.]I'll die without ice cream anyway, you know. I can't go a day without sugar.
no subject
Only an idiot's traumatic story arc would be about something like that! I've never had any character development come out of pissing. [Even if he did, he wouldn't admit it. Have some shame!] Only an idiot would go out in the middle of the night, especially for something stupid. Have you lost control? [Of your bladder?]
If you say 'little Hiji' again I'll cut yours off.
[Vice-chief! And mayonnaise was absolutely worthy - not that a penniless scumbag would understand it's virtues. But fine, he wouldn't talk about it any more. No need to continue a conversation that would only besmirch it's value.]
There was no vote, it's obvious from the taste! [Nope, he didn't get it.] So die already! It's been a lot longer than a day, so either stop whining or keel over!