I can't remember who suggested this on plurk but thxu

[phaseshifter]

'Tis the season for an appropriately festive meme. Behold, the


BEACH EPISODE MEME

wait no what

Characters have made it over the snow walls only to find that... there's... a beach there?

With appropriate weather and everything??

And palm trees and piles of free bathing suits and a bar that seems to have a never-ending supply of pina coladas???

There are probably little spider barmen or something

Who are we kidding there are definitely little spider barmen

WHATEVER, time to engage in beachy shenanigans! Sunbathe. Bury people in the sand. Go swimming. Build an escape raft or a sandcastle or play volleyball or ALL THESE THINGS AT ONCE WHILE SHOVING SAND DOWN YOUR FRIENDS' BATHING SUITS AND DRAWING DICKS ON THEM IN SUN LOTION

Look idk just write your own sandy-ass toplevels u nerds

Comments

[youarethebandits]

[Forget everything else, there are pina coladas. TIME TO GET COMPLETELY FUCKING WASTED LIKE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.

Jack is in fact wearing the shuttershades depicted in his icon. He is also wearing yellow swim trunks because of course they're yellow. Basically if you think he doesn't look like the dorky beach dad he is then you are wrong.]

[phaseshifter]

[ Angel walks straight past the bar because it is TIME TO EXPLORE.

But then doubles straight back because no. No, dad. No. No. Dad, no. ]

Wh...ere did you get those?

[ Just. Looking at the shuttershades. In abject horror. ]

[youarethebandits]

Found 'em.

[He shrugs and downs another pina colada. He's on like his seventh or something by now, so only barely getting started.]

Why, you jealous?

[Is he aware of how stupid the shades are? Is he only wearing them ironically? Or does he sincerely think they are cool? WE JUST DON'T KNOW.]

[phaseshifter]

1

[ BEHOLD. ANGEL IN A BATHING SUIT.

A bathing suit with like fifteen sarongs draped over it because like hell are Team Overprotective Hyperion Douchedads going to let her do otherwise, geez. She's actually more fully covered up than usual. IT'S REALLY STUPID.

As of right now, she's sniffing dubiously at one of the spider-sponsored frilly-ass drinks at the bar. IS THERE ALCOHOL IN THIS? THERE PROBABLY IS.

But there's also a tiny umbrella and that is cute as heckie. ]

 
2

[ Angel hasn't just built a sandcastle. Those are for noobs. She's built a sand fortress, and has now declared herself queen of it. FIGHT HER FOR HER TERRITORY OR COME TO PAY TRIBUTE, SCRUBS!! ]

1

[headjacked]

[ Just gonna sliiiiiiiiiide in here, all casual like. And nearly fall off a barstool god dammit Rhys. ]

The literal father in me says no. Not only no, but hell no.

[ Pointing at the frillydrink before leaning in and whispering conspiratorially. ]

Buuuuut you only live, die, get resurrected in a snowhell and find a well-stocked beach once, right?

[phaseshifter]

Ooohhh, you're being a bad influence! If you start bleeding from places then you only have yourself to blame.

Well.

And dad.

[ Another extremely tentative nose-wrinkley sniff. ]

Iunno, this smells kind of gross...

[headjacked]

1

[ Rhys has amassed a line of different drinks because he could not decide and therefore had to order all of them.

THIS WILL SURELY END WELL.

He has managed to find a pair of teal swim trunks and a matching shirt, all asymmetrically pinstriped because someone out there cares about his motif. Feel free to notice the blue tattoos running down one side of his body because this is a meme and I do what I want. You don't own me, Telltale. ]

2

[ Have you fallen asleep while sunbathing? Perhaps had one drink too many?

Because if you have, you are getting buried in sand by a tipsy cyborg. Sorry, not sorry. ]

2!

[phaseshifter]

[ Angel has indeed fallen asleep under a palm tree while watching the sea. She's having a pretty neato dream about digging her way through the sand only to find a whole bunch of robots under there to hang out with. IT'S GREAT.

Until she wakes up and god frickindammit Rhys god fRICKING DAMMIT GOD ]

RHYS!

[headjacked]

[ By the time she wakes up she is under an impressive amount of sand. Rhys is all nerdy giggles. ]

I'm not even sorry!

[youarethebandits]

[Jack has finally passed out after roughly three million drinks. Dare you bury your awful boss, Rhys?]

[headjacked]

[ This is more than just another simple sand-bury. This is going to be a project. A work of art.

Meaning that he is digging a large hole and trying to heft his unconscious awful boss into it. Yep. Thank you, liquid courage. ]

[blessedmaiden]

1

[Screw everything, she's running around in her underwear drinking and just enjoying the wonderful place they just found. Too good to be true? Maybe! But she's enjoying it as long as it lasts!]
I'm so not going back to snowhell.

2

[Rydia walked away from the group and found a place where to stay alone for a moment. Why? Well...]
Father? Father, can you hear me?
[Because even if she's probably alreay considered a bit 'off' there's no need to let everyone see her yell to the sea. With Leviathan being her father and the Worlds-crossing lord of oceans the summoner thought it was worth trying to contact him.]
Come on... Why aren't you replying?

3

[Rydia spent almost a whole hour staring at the palm trees, studying them and chopping small pieces of their trunks. It's with a wide grin she returns to the others, the summoner seems quite satisfied with the things she found and...]
Those palms are perfect! If only Luca was here... anyway, does anyone know or think it's possible to build any kind of vessel here? The palms are rich with oils and... If we have any way to build even a basic engine of sort, maybe combining all our efforts, we may be able to travel even further.
[In her world vessels are powered with palm oil, from her point of view you're all surrounded by fuel, deal with it.]

3

[bonefriend]

Build something out of palm trees? Like a raft?

Hey, I'd be up for that. [ probably... not so much the construction and labor part, he'd be too busy slacking off. ] Whatever floats your boat.

[blessedmaiden]

No, I'm talking abot a serious ship here! We have the wood, we have people who seem to be able to do anything, we have palms with lots of sap we can use as fuel... it's perfect if we can build a proper engine.

But... I doubt someone here has all the tools and materials to build a proper motor so... [She pauses] Raft?

Swim this way we'll dance and we'll play

[swatsflies]

1.

[Zell has acquired the BEST SWIM TRUNKS and can be found swimming. He may splash any approaching friends or try to drag them in the water with him.]

C'mon on! This is frickin great! BOOYAH!

2.

[Now dripping wet and relaxing on the beach by digging around for something i the sand. He had his back to the water, with the waves rolling up to his toe. Take the opportunity to get him or see what he's looking for?

If left to his devices, he'll eventually hold something in his hand with a triumph smile.]
FOUND ONE! [It's a little hermit crab.]

3.[BRING YOUR OWN STARTER]

2

[phaseshifter]

Hey, whoa! Don't touch that! That one's pretty tiny, but spiderants are really dangerous!

[ Because

you know

that's totally what that thing is ]

Why were you even looking for one?!

[swatsflies]

Huh? What's a spiderant?

[Looking between her and the little guy.] It's not dangerous.

C'mere, I'll show you.[Patting the spot next to him.]

1!

[starsandtights]

[Steve has acquired patriotic swim trunks because of course he has, and makes a beeline for the water because GOD HE IS DISGUSTING HE NEEDS TO BE CLEAN and also I mean swimming is nice.

He totally splashes Zell as he rushes headlong into the waves, but he didn't really mean to. Probably. He surfaces after a few moments, shaking his head like a wet dog.]

Oh LORD that feels amazing!

sorry so late and short

[swatsflies]

Hey! [UH HUH SURE. IT IS ON, CAPTAIN!!!

He's going to splash him back on purpose.] Take that!

2, super late meme tag sorry

[warriorscribe]

[Don't mind this snowbo-turned-hobo still without proper swimwear. He's got a little sunburn starting but he just can't get up off his clothes pile. Sunlight... Zell would be forgiven for thinking he was asleep; he's been in the same spot, eyes closed, all this time.

When Zell calls out, he turns his head to look.]

What is it? A shell?

[starsandtights]

1.
[Steve headed straight for the water in his brand-new swim trunks. He will stay there until he feels clean again, which means he probably won't come out until he's a prune. You will find him floating on his back with his eyes closed.]

Is it possible to just live in the ocean, I think I'd like to live in the ocean now.

2.
[At some point it will occur to Steve that a) he is still lacking his super-serum and b) he is in the presence of copious amounts of alcohol, and that this means that c) HE CAN GET DRUNK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MANY MANY DECADES. He is at the bar, sucking down a piña colada fast enough to give himself brain-freeze and snapping his fingers at the spiders.]

Keep 'em coming, robot spider barman, I want at least two more of these.

3.
[A probably quite drunk Steve is now sprawled like a starfish in the sand with his eyes closed and a huge smile on his face. He is warm. It feels amazing. He is so, so happy.]

I love this beach. I love this sand. I am never, ever leaving.

[If he sounds overly-emotional about all of this, I would like to remind you: he is very drunk.]

4.
[CHOOSE YOUR OWN BEACH STEVE ADVENTURE~]

[circumsutus]

A

[Okay, Stein's always up for some beach adventures, especially after snowhell. He's got some massive amounts of sunscreen, a comfortable chair, and big fancy glass with a little paper umbrella. He's shirtless, and his swim trunks are a stitched-together patchwork of grey fabric (like... everything else he has).]

B

[Did someone say volleyball? Stein is so up for volleyball right now. He's also almost six and a half feet tall, solid muscle, has decades of shonen fighting experience, and is very good at volleyball. Hopefully, he's on your team.]

C - dissection warning
[Somehow, Stein has found, and caught, a small shark. He also has a knife. Do I even need to explain what's happening here?]

[warriorscribe]

[Enoch could, could be using this opportunity to actually maybe get himself halfway clean.

Instead, the first thing he does? Strips down to standard jeans and sandals and flops flat on his back with his clothes pile as a beach towel, looking up at the clear blue sky in quiet awe, like there's an aurora or something up there, and soaking up that precious sunlight.

He had never been able to articulate it, how much he missed it. He never thought he would miss sand either, but here he is, idly taking handfuls of the stuff and letting it sift through his fingers.

He doesn't seem like he's going to be moving anytime soon.]

I'll burn so badly, but I don't care...

[phaseshifter]

You'll care later when Doctor Epps starts fussing! There has to be some sunblock somewhere. They've provided everything else. Or, um, you could just sit in the shade...

[ Oh hey it's Shorty McPaleasfuck, the tanning police ]

[bonefriend]

[ sans is working on his tan. oh, and helping himself to those pina coladas. which... have a tendency to drip right on through him and his beach chair because of the whole skeleton thing.

but yeah, he'll just be chilling out and sunbathing. and maybe practicing summery jokes on passerby. ]

Hey, what did one ocean say to the other ocean?