Test Drive

[snowblindmods]

TEST DRIVE MEME

If you'd like to apply to Snowblind and would like to test the waters first or get a sample set up for your application, this meme is for you! We've even provided some prompts for you to use if you want (but feel free to make up your own). Here's how it works. ✭ Reply to this entry with a character you're considering apping into the game. You can include the name of your character and the fandom in your subject line. ✭ Comment around to others on the meme, whether you're in the game already or not. ✭ Now you have a sample ready for your application! ✭ So go reserve and apply when reservations and applications are open. ✭ Seriously, do it. Network Prompts ONE: SEE THAT WE CAN SEE It's late and you're settling down for the night when you notice a strange light coming from... outside? Through the heavy snowfall, you can just make out the haze of glowing eyes in the distance. Dozens of them. It's difficult to tell through the window, but they seem to be staring directly at you. Since it's after lockdown, you can't get outside to investigate, but maybe others in town are seeing the eyes too. You'd better take to the Network to see what's going on. TWO: BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES You can't sleep. You've been trying, trying, trying. But every time you close your eyes, you see the eyes of the prophet etched into the insides of your eyelids. The symbol only seems to get brighter and clearer the longer you keep your eyes shut, the closer you get to drifting off. It chills you awake. Nothing seems to help. Maybe there are others on the Network who are having the same problem. Or, at least, someone who doesn't mind keeping you company through the long hours. Action Prompts THREE: THREE'S A CROWD You and your traveling companion are exploring what looks to be a perfectly normal building when you notice something strange carved into the wall. Is that an eye? Strange indeed, but what's stranger is that new carvings keep appearing, always where you're not looking. Soon, the whole room is full of eye carvings. Is your companion doing this? If not them, then who? FOUR: THE KNIFE'S EDGE Most everyone in town still has eyes that are either glowing or shaped like the prophet's symbol, and your eyes are no different. These are the same eyes that made everyone attack each other a few nights ago. Every time you catch a glimpse of yourself, maybe in the reflection of a window or the video feed on your tablet, you feel a little sick. Unfortunately, your traveling companion's eyes look strange too, and they're the opposite of yours. Both of you are in danger if those murderous urges come back, which makes it difficult to trust each other after what you've been through. It's late at night when a dark thought crosses your mind--you do have a knife. Not that there's any reason to use it, of course... Right?

Comments

[advanced]

[He gets it all too well.

This might not be his Steve, but that philosophy is very familiar. It's the sort of thing that made him a hero even before the serum, back when he was just this skinny kid from Brooklyn that never knew when to back down from a fight. It softens his expression even as it turns it more distressed, a strange mix.]

I can't have you around me.

[At least that's more honest, perhaps too honest.]

Not you.

[livingsymbol]

[Okay, that is a different statement than what he has been saying. "Get lost." Go away." "I don't want help." Those are things that anyone might say just because they don't want company or because they hate weakness. But saying that he doesn't want Steve around him means something more. It's personal and honest. That's something he respects more than just a child's tantrum thrown because Bucky doesn't like having help.]

Why?

[Turning that question right back on Bucky.]

[advanced]

[Does he really not recognise Bucky? Is he so different from the Bucky in the other world? Or is Steve playing with him?]

You know my name, don't you?

[That's why.]

[livingsymbol]

[He raises an eyebrow. The question is simple, but Steve can't understand why he would be asking that. Does Bucky think he can't handle himself? Or maybe it's the painful irony. That he can almost understand, except running has never made that pain better. Ever.]

I have a good idea. [Yes.]

[advanced]

Then you know why.

[Or does he?

This isn't his Steve, and the others have told him enough to know that the other Bucky was different. The Soldier had been a different thing, less complete, less pervasive, and his relationship with Steve had been different too.]

[livingsymbol]

Why don't you just tell me?

[Instead of playing these guessing games. He isn't a mind reader. He doesn't know what Bucky is thinking or what he wants out of life. He can hazard guesses for days, but asking for a clear answer is much easier. And just smarter.]

[advanced]

[His jaw clenches. It's hard giving away anything more emotional to anyone, let alone Steve, but he knows that Steve - any Steve - is too stubborn to go for anything but the truth.]

Because you're not the Steve I know, and I'm definitely not the Bucky you do. It's too hard.

[livingsymbol]

[Steve frowns again, but this time it's not with disapproval, but understanding. "It's too hard" Bucky says. He doesn't criticize him for that feeling. He gives the man a look; weighing his words against some personal scale in himself; finding the truth there.]

If you give up here, then you'll keep running. Maybe for the rest of your life. You can run, but it's never going to get easier. Running only drives the pain in deeper.

I know I probably bring up a lot of bad memories for you. I'm sorry for that. But I believe that you're strong, and that you also have some good memories left too. The only way you'll ever break free of this is to find those good memories, new or old, and hold tight to them. I gotta tell you, when I first woke up, all I could think about was the pain. My friend, my partner, had asked me about a hundred times what my plans were after the war was all over, and at the time, I'd never come up with a good answer. And when I woke up alone, I felt like I had lost the world and I was never getting it back.

I know it's hard.

[advanced]

[It's so different and so similar at the same time.

Was that friend him? Another him, a different him? Tony and Natasha had told him that the Bucky of their world hadn't met Steve when they were kids, and their relationship had been different. Friends, yes, but maybe not as fiercely strong as he and the Steve from his world. It's so strange, and it doesn't make this easier.]

I knew someone who didn't believe in running either, he said that once you start then you might never stop.

[Such a dumb idiot.]

That was him, it's not me. I do what I have to in order to survive and keep people around me safe, so I'm going to one more time. Walk away.

[livingsymbol]

Or what?

[There's a steady, unmovable conviction in the question. Steve doesn't raise his voice in challenge, but the question itself is so straightforward it carries the weight of the fight with it.]

You'll make me? You'll do what you have to, including hurt me to keep everyone safe? Would you kill me to survive?

[That last question is sad, because he's asked something very similar before.]

If that's how you feel, I guess I can't change your mind. You might just have to try it. If I had to, I'd die to keep the people around me safe. I have no regrets. So I guess our goals are gonna work out after all.

I'll tell you what, though: I'm not gonna make it easy.